You Can't Take It With You
What's Actually Worth It?
Earlier this week Laura Reilly shared a simple grey t-shirt, by The Row, with a price tag of $1,650. I was stumped. What constitutes buying an everyday garment that costs that much? Does it come with a prime time reservation to The Corner Store?
As I type this, there's a small part of me that feels like a hypocrite because I LOOOOOVE beautiful things and the adrenaline rush that comes with buying them. If you want to wear your $690 flip flops with the matching shirt and drink a whole bottle of Sancerre on the patio of Le Mercerie at noon on a Tuesday... not only do I support you, but I would love a deep dive into the exact trajectory that brought you here. While a four-figure t-shirt has never cast its spell on me, I have absolutely spent a lot of money on things I assumed I would pass onto my granddaughter that I now look at and think 'who was she?'.
There's a lot I miss about my twenties—time felt limitless and hangovers could be cured by nothing but a bagel and two Advil. But every time I see someone in mesh ballet flats, I'm so glad I'm off the hamster wheel of figuring out how to incorporate whatever sartorial plat du jour is splashed all over the internet into my personal wardrobe. Don't get me wrong, a lot of these pieces look amazing on others, but most of the time they simply aren't my ticket to ride. Unfortunately, knowing what works for you—both your body and your nervous system—is a superpower masked as a consolation prize for racking up birthdays.
Money cannot buy you true happiness—not clothes, not an apartment, not a vacation topped with caviar and Krug—this is a cold, hard fact and perhaps one of life's toughest pills to swallow. But what I will say is this: If you surround yourself with the right people, and if you've somewhat metabolized the fact that there will always be someone you define as hotter, smarter, or more successful than you—and that's ok!—treating yourself, whether it's clearing your SSense cart or taking the day off to go get that scalp massage you saw on TikTok...is kind of the best.
Here are a few things you'll never regret spending your time or money on…
The Day-Changing Experience
I am totally blanking on where I read this- but I’m 99% sure it was Emily Sundberg talking about a facial massage which she defined as ‘not life-changing but day-changing’, and the mentality opened up another neuropathway for me. Feeling just a tiny bit better—whatever that means to you—can take one from pressing send on a strongly worded email to saying 'whatever—it's not that big of a deal.' I'm not saying go to the place on the corner and get your lips done on a whim during your lunch hour—but a great facial or an afternoon spent between the sauna and a cold plunge at a spa with unlimited eucalyptus water—can change your perspective just enough to make you remember who you are. Yes, you still have to wake up tomorrow and handle whatever's going on in your life, but a pep in your step does wonders. I don't really party anymore, but placebo is definitely my drug of choice.
Playing Hooky
Every once in a while you just need a day—that's not the weekend or a bank holiday—to remind yourself why you love wherever you live. Turn your phone off, write a polite but vague vacation responder letting the whole world know you'll get back to them tomorrow and go take a 10:30 am pilates class to see how the other half lives. I like to take a loop around Central Park, have lunch at The Grill then go smell all of the Dries perfumes at Bergdorfs. I've never met anyone whose job or relationship has imploded from a few hours offline—do it!
Frost Yourself
There's a few variations of this quote floating around this corner of Substack—but TLDR: long gone are the days of saving your jewelry for any sort of occasion. You are the occasion. I think if you're seriously leaning into the whole 'I'll pass this down to my grandchildren' storyline (I'm very much one of these people—blame my Libra moon!)...there's nothing better than investing in the sparkly stones of your choice. Let's not forget that if whatever you are memorializing or celebrating turns out to be a bust, you can get it reset à la EmRata.
Anything That Makes You the Main Character
Did you find some Calvin Klein on TheRealReal that’s giving CBK having brunch at Bubby's with JFK Jr? Purchase immediately. Seeing your ex at a wedding and want to bring full Kate Hudson from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days? Don't hesitate on the yellow dress. Call it delusion or call it girlhood—but channeling any scripted or celebrity higher power that has been living on your moodboard always makes for a suit of armor not even the most prestigious ateliers in the world are capable of executing. We don’t know much about what comes next, but one thing is certain- you can’t take any of it with you!!
Love this. When working in corporate I'd take a mid-week day off a few times a year and call it a "My Lady Day" — basically a fancier, more intriguing way of labeling a day that was effectively about personal upkeep (hair, nails, waxing, massage, Pilates, etc), a bougie lunch with wine (Neiman Marcus Rotunda or something), mixing in a walk along a fun shopping street (Fillmore or Hayes Valley here in SF), and a cocktail at an inappropriate time of day usually accompanied by french fries or an affogato. No friends. Just me. I'd post it on IG stories and those chained to their desks were in avid admiration about all of it.
This is just to say, we have to take our freedoms; they won't be bestowed upon us.
Writing just nails it every time ❤️