The Pisces Gift Guide
Like A Fish Out Of Water...
Imagine carrying the weight of the zodiac on your shoulders - that's what it's like for any Pisces you've ever met. As the 12th sign and the caboose of the zodiac, these fish out of water are ruled by Neptune and Jupiter. Born between February 19th and March 20th, they wear their hearts on their sleeves and live exclusively in their feelings. Imaginative, creative, emotional, intuitive - think Bad Bunny making the crowd go wild or Albert Einstein declaring that "imagination is more important than knowledge."
Of course, a Pisces is never easy to shop for, but I did my best. Fair warning: they'll be moved to tears no matter what you gift them... don't say I didn't warn you!
February 23rd 1995
'I'm so sorry, but we have to go,' she gushed to the maître d', gliding through a sea of Bottega Mini Jodies on her way to the door. No amount of lychee martinis could drown out the negative energy flooding all 800 sqft of the West Broadway cocktail bar. Her spot-on intuition was a double-edged sword, keeping her protected from the dark side of the powers that be, while making it impossible to enjoy a glass of pét-nat without absorbing the energy of every situation.
Being the guru of the friend group came with its own weight. Her inbox was perpetually booked and busy, currently sitting at 695 unread messages - topics ranging from 'He's always the first person to watch my Instagram story, I text him, right?' to 'Do I move to LA…' 'I'm not some crystal ball with legs,' she sighs to her therapist whenever she's too tired to dive into what's actually bothering her. To say she didn't love it would be a lie - after all, what's more powerful than being everyone's in-house psychic.
February 28th 1988
Her birthday was always a point of contention. Part of her wanted to do something sick - an intimate 10-person omakase at Sushi Sho, with unlimited Hokkaido scallops and all the Krug you can drink. The other idea was to rent out Jupiter Disco and invite everyone she'd ever spoken to post-Saturn Return. A week before the big day, she still couldn’t take the plunge, so she threatened her boyfriend Sebastatian to plan something spectacular or else this would be their last trip around the sun together.
'Why do I put myself in this position?? Who can’t plan their own birthday?' she cried to Sebastian in the back of the Uber. She had no idea where they were going, and it was better that way.
March 10th 1981
The lights are dim and the water is hot as "Aquamarine" by Addison Rae blasts through the amethyst marble bathroom - a perfect Friday night. She's staying in to manifest the life of her dreams. 'Speak it into existence? Who would want to take that chance?' she thinks to herself. She's moisturized, hydrated, sitting in a bathtub painting the vision board of her dreams. This next chapter is all about being calm, cool, and collected.
*Ding ding ding* - her phone hasn't stopped buzzing, but the messages can wait. There’s a new life waiting for her on the other side, she’ll answer your call when she gets there.
March 16th 2002
'Get Ready With Me To Turn 23,' she says directly into the camera while applying eyeliner to her waterline. The question was never 'would she be famous?!,' but 'how.' One beautiful thing about the internet is that it's never been easier to make something your entire personality for a short period of time. She ran with it, trying a little bit of everything - food tutorials, Marie-Kondoing her dorm room, and preaching astrology as a diagnosis.
One night, on the heels of her 21st birthday, she made a video of herself crying into the camera about literally nothing. "Hey guys! Live from Miami," she hiccuped, "just me and my big heart." Over one hundred million views later, she's officially been deemed 'The Most Emotional Girl on the Internet,' riding the waves of vulnerability one brand deal at a time.
You’re a genius. These little worlds are…. transportive.