Satirical Roleplay: 002
All The People We Get To Be This Black Friday
This is satire and to be read with a sense of humor. None of these characters are real, rather just figments of my imagination based on people I know, people I used to know and probably a few different versions of myself (both past and present).
‘OUR BIGGEST SALE YET!’, flashed across her inbox. She refuses to accept the fact that it was the Sunday before Thanksgiving. Memorial Day Weekend felt like yesterday, fast forward to BRAT Summer, a not demure amount of Hugo Spritzes, the election and somehow the holiday season has entered the chat. ‘The only thing I need to buy is a ticket to Wicked’, she thought to herself as ‘Defying Gravity’ blasted through the two rooms of her Elizabeth St. apartment.
‘Every year on Black Friday I say I’m not shopping until the new year and I end up with like 5 cashmere sweaters and a Dries Coat’, her coworker announced to the office the next day. ‘This year I’m allowing myself a Good Squish Scrunchie and a Jacquemus Dress for my brother's wedding and then I’m putting my credit card on ice until 2025.’
She flipped from her G-Mail to Mytheresa where the Blazé Milano Jacket she had been eyeing was 20% off. ‘It’s only Monday, the price will go down even more’, the devil on her shoulder whispered in her ear. ‘If I’m going to play this game I may as well get my Christmas shopping out of the way’, she whispered under her breath, and off to SSense she went. A Telka Beach Towel for her best friend who always seemed to be on vacation and a set of Polspotten Tumblers for her Mom. Done. ‘Time to get off this bus’, she said out loud, slamming her laptop closed. ‘I’m going to pick up my Sweetgreen, does anyone need anything from the outside world?!’ she asked her two other officemates. ‘I need a magic carpet and a glass of Krug’, one of them replied without looking up from their computer. ‘Well lucky for you there’s a chance you can find both for 30% somewhere on the internet, she called out as she left to pick up her Harvest Bowl.
Need an excuse to try some different lives on? Blame Black Friday! Let the fact 99% of everything you see here is on sale, be your gateway drug into a new era…
Enjoy!
365 Party Girl
Never been to Bushwick? Maybe it’s time for a trip. Treat yourself to a Balenciaga Nano Le Cagole and hit the L Train. Adventure awaits!
Entering Her Blue Period
I can promise you this…2025 will be the year she finishes The Artists Way.
Crème de la Crème
All of the money she’s saving on this fit will go directly to her dry cleaning bill. Girl math that and try not to spill anything!
Meow!
The cats out of the bag… Take a walk on the wild side and never turn back! **Editors note- hopefully it goes without saying these are meant to be worn separately!
Love all of it but disagree with wearing the leopard print separately 🐆